Last night was the first night I tried to fall asleep without the assistance of good ol' Maria Juanita... emphasis on the tried since I probably got about an hour total of zzz's. I tossed... I turned... I reminded myself why I'm even doing this in the first place. I did notice that even with the lack of quality shut-eye, I hopped right out of bed this morning. None of that groggy, hit-by-a-train feeling I usually wake up with every morning... Maybe I really am a morning person and I just never noticed!
It's day four without a cigarette and I hardly have any cravings for one. I'm not sure if it's because i have yet to be around any smokers. I'll probably want one as soon as I smell some second-hand smoke. Disgusting, I know... but true. I'm not really dying to smoke a bowl either; then again, it's only day two! What's weird about the weed is how natural it's become to me to walk in the door and load one up. Driving home from work today, I thought to myself, "Gonna head home, smoke up, maybe do some laundry before I gotta go to the porno shop." And then I realized, "Oh, sheiza. I'm not doing that stuff for awhile." Seems like a lot of the time I light up because it's a habit, not because I'm actually looking for a head-change.
That said, I'm not quitting for good. That would just be silly. I love weed. I love it so much that I want to put in the work necessary to improve our relationship. Like a best friend or a lover, I don't want to take it for granted. "Wanna dress it up in my love! All ova! All ova!" Yadidamean? I really believe that herb is a sacred and wonderful thing and that getting stoned can be a truly transcendent experience. But when your tolerance is sky-high and you're getting baked just because you can-- where's the love? Where's the appreciation?
I'll probably be getting stoned in a couple of weeks when my old roomie comes back to town for a visit but don't intend on picking up where I left off. Even with a single smoke-free day under my belt, I feel like I have so much more energy and focus than usual. I didn't feel anxious to get out of work early so I could come home and "medicate". Instead, I stuck around a couple extra hours and took care of some of next week's stuff ahead of time.
And, most importantly, I don't have to fight against the munchies to figure out meals. I woke up, hit Whole Foods for an iced tea and did some serious damage at their wicked awesome salad bar. (For breakfast... weird, but delicious.) I'm about to roll up some salmon and brown rice sushi to tide me over until work tonight, where I will most likely avoid doing anything listed in my job duties and instead spend some more time planning out the next month. One more day of solid food, then Saturday and Sunday are green-smoothie-days. Monday, we kick off a hypo-allergenic diet of mostly brown rice, vegetables, and fish. Then, after a week or so I'll start testing different foods each meal to see what happens. Kinda excited for that part even though I have a sinking feeling that my favorite stuff (cheese, bread, and beer) is gonna be the stuff I'll end up having to cut out.
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